I’m offering up this Goals Gone Wild Classic as a John Hughes tribute, may he R.I.P. Originally published Sept 28, 2007.

The morning radio show my wife and I listen to has a movie quote contest each day. Last week the quote was,

“-Ism’s in my opinion are not good.”

Not a lot to go on, but to a couple weaned on teen flicks of the 80’s it was enough. We both dove for our cell phones. Thumbs flew and buttons were mashed. Numerous busy signals later we surrendered the contest, but shared a lot of laughs over an all-time, feel good favorite of a movie, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (FBDO).

FBDO stars Matthew Broderick as the kind of slick, smart-ass kid I wanted to be. He was popular, knew how to play all the angles and always managed to dodge trouble. A teflon teen, if you will. The film follows Ferris’ attempt to skip school one too many times (“nine times”). He ropes his hangdog best friend Cameron into joining him (“He’ll keep calling”) and together they bust Sloan, Ferris’ pert and perky girlfriend, out of school for a day on the town. Hot on his heels is the school principal, Ed Rooney. And, as they say, comedy ensues. (For a much better plot synopsis see the links below. Better yet, see the movie.)

I went online and looked up more quotes from the movie. To my surprise I discovered something I’d missed through the dozens of viewings. Ferris, and the other characters, actually share some valuable life lessons, especially when you pull them out of context (as I’m about to).

Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

Ferris dreams big and enjoys life. He has goals and priorities but also understands the need for perspective. In this scene our heroic trio are atop the Sear Tower in Chicago looking down at the world;

Sloane: The city looks so peaceful from up here.

Ferris: Anything is peaceful from one thousand, three hundred and fifty-three feet.

Cameron: I think I see my dad.

Each character reacts to the view in their own way. Sloane starts to catch on to being in the moment, Ferris shares his own understanding about point-of-view and Cameron sees only punishment coming, even in a moment of complete freedom.

A comic theme throughout the day are the close calls between Ferris. his pals and Ferris’ Dad. They nearly bump into him over and over, as in this scene at a posh restaurant:

Ferris: Four thousand restaurants in the downtown area, I pick the one my father goes to.

Cameron: We’re pinched, for sure.

Ferris: Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.

Again we see how the reactions differ. Cameron, ever pessimistic, is ready to surrender. Ferris knows that the only sure way to get “pinched” is to quit. He knows that sticking to the plan and following through when it’s tough is likely to ensure success.

The trio really play well of each other. Ferris is the dynamic leader who really “gets it”. Sloan is happy to be along for the ride as she emerges as a “happy seeker”. Clearly she sees the spark in Ferris and is looking for a way to get it her herself.

Sloane: What are we going to do?

Ferris: The question isn’t “what are we going to do,” the question is “what aren’t we going to do?”

Ah, potential. Ferris sees the whole world open before him, a menu with choices aplenty. That much opportunity can be daunting, and like Sloane we can freeze up in the face of success. Ferris knows that by seizing the day, the hour, and the moment you can wring joy and victory out of every breath.

With Cameron, Ferris faces a much tougher nut to crack. He’s a broken man, beaten down by life. Cameron is a hypochondriac that lives in fear of the outcome. Ferris makes it his mission to bring him around.

Ferris: Cameron, what have you seen today?

Cameron: Nothing good.

Ferris: Nothing – wha – what do you mean nothing good? We’ve seen everything good. We’ve seen the whole city! We went to a museum, we saw priceless works of art! We ate pancreas!

Granted, Pancreas may not be your cup of tea, but Ferris makes an excellent point. How many of us get caught up like Cameron? We spend our days going through the motions, assured of a bleak outcome. Even though some pretty great things are happening around us, we keep our eyes down afraid to enjoy our own lives.

Fortunately for Cam, when plot circumstances have piled on and you think he just might shatter he finds the strength to face it all.

Cameron: I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I’m going to take a stand. I’m going to defend it. Right or wrong, I’m going to defend it.

Never Had One Lesson!

I’ve barely scratched the surface of the hidden wisdom in this movie. Principal Rooney spends the movie doggedly determined to bring Ferris in to face authority. I think we can sum him up with his nugget of pain:

Ed Rooney: Between grief and nothing… I’ll take grief.

Poor guy. If he’d just had a friend like Ferris maybe he’d realize that

Ferris: Life goes by pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Related Links

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferris_bueller

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091042/

10 minutes may work for rice, but your success is going to take a bit more time.

Sure – go ahead and be driven. But at the same time, be patient. Put in the work, keep the faith, and it will happen. You’ll be on it like white on … oh, never mind.

When I was a younger man, I was very stubborn. (Heck, I’m still pretty stubborn, but I have mellowed quite a bit.) I use the word “stubborn” the way most people might use the word “determined”. Only I took determined to the next level.

If I made up my mind to do something, I did it. No matter what. I would go to great lengths to follow through on the commitments I made to myself. Little or big, it didn’t matter. Easy or painful, it didn’t matter. Proton or neutron, it didn’t matter. I was going to get it done.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve tried to become more measured in my day to day living. I’ve tried to learn to relax a bit. Stop and smell the roses. I’ve tried to ease up on the constant pressure I’ve placed on myself over the years. I think these are good things overall. Life’s too short to be a tool.

It wasn’t until recently, however, that I realized it’s a fine line between learning to take it easy and becoming soft. One night, in the name of relaxation, I gazed a weary eye toward my unfinished to do list and told myself “It’s okay.” And I went to bed.

When I woke up the next morning, something didn’t feel quite right. What had happened?

I suddenly became very uneasy with the realization that I had given myself permission to give up. Hmmm. That was new. After recovering from this minor panic attack, I resolved to dial back a few notches toward the younger, more stubborn me.

Now, I’m not saying that it’s never okay to be tired, to be frustrated, to leave the office or go to bed with unfinished business, or to want to take a vacation to get away from it all. Those things are natural and healthy. What I am saying is that there is a difference between making a choice and making an excuse.

That’s the fine line. Cross it, and you risk slipping down a slope that’s … well … slippery. An excuse related to a minor item can turn into frustration and eventually disengagement. It’s a downward spiral that can take months or even years to recognize, much less overcome.

The way to avoid the problem or get on the road to recovery is the same: Set small goals and follow-through. Be determined to finish what you start. Be a little hard on yourself. Experience discomfort and persist. If you need to take some time off or a bit longer to complete a goal, that’s fine. But don’t stop until you’re done. Don’t give up and don’t make excuses.

If a tired, scared, or doubtful part of you asks your true self to “sit this one out”, just say “no way” and get back to work. It’s okay to be stubborn when success is on the line.

Here’s a simple question: “Do you want to be successful in life?”

When faced with this question, I don’t know too many people who say, “No thanks. I’d prefer to sit here on the couch and watch reruns of Mama’s Family. I’m good.” I’m going to go under the assumption that if you’re here and you have a pulse, you want to be successful.

This leads to a question that’s not so simple: “What does success mean to you?”

If you ask somebody that question, you’re more likely to hear a few “um…”s and “well…”s. (Go ahead and try. I’ll wait here.) It’s an age-old conundrum. You want to be successful, but without being clear about what success looks like in your life, you’re putting our chances of being successful and happy at risk.

So what’s an attractive, achievement-oriented person to do?

Well, you could start with the mountains of self-help books, research, blog articles, and other helpful resources that examine the subject of personal success and life aspirations. Unfortunately, you probably don’t have enough time to read and absorb this information. You have a job, a family, a busy social agenda, and other commitments that keep you on the go. (Plus, Mama’s Family starts in 20 minutes.)

You need something small and simple to get you started. I’m going to try and distill 50 years of success research into a simple notion:

Define a goal > pursue the goal > be happy

Sure, we could make things more complicated, but why bother? If you do nothing more than “start at the beginning”, you’ll have already increased your chances of being successful in life.

So let’s start at the beginning. Let’s each declare an important personal goal. This is important for several reasons:

• Writing out your goal will ensure that it becomes tangible and not just a distant thought
• The process of defining the goal automatically leads to your development of task strategies and solutions in achieving it
• Your personal accountability – a key ingredient of success – will be increased by the semi-public declaration
• Putting your goal in this format opens a door for social support from other like-minded KAED fans
• Reading the goals submitted by others may increase your motivation and inspire you

That’s some pretty cool stuff!

So in the spirit of “keep it simple”, take a few seconds below and leave a comment telling the KAED crew what you’re working to accomplish right now.

Show us your goals!

This video is a great reminder that failing doesn’t mean you’re done. It means you’re just getting started.

I’m always amazed when I stroll the aisles of one of those warehouse superstores. Whether it’s a Costco, a B.J.’s Wholesale Club, a Sam’s Club, or a MegaGiant SillyMart, I tend to wander around with my neck straining toward the high ceiling. Where else can you find three neatly stacked pallets each brimming with Family Size boxes of Chex cereal? What’s that? You need 40 pounds of Vlassic pickles for $10? Better get your butt over to the superstore.

Sometimes I pop into a superstore even when I just need a few items. There’s something comforting in knowing that as a consumption-driven American, I can make a shopping list that includes a High- Definition television, snow tires, Whoppers malted milk balls, and an AT&T Go Phone and only have to make one stop. (Take that, Iceland!)

Last week, I stepped through the superstore’s glass doors in search of my bounty. (No, not the paper towels. I’m a Brawny man, thank you, and I buy mine in the 200-roll pack.) My mission on this fateful day: crackers. Any schlub can go to your run-of-the-mill grocery store and pick up a box of Wheat Thins. Not me. I need to get my crackers in a box as big as a microwave if I’m going to feel like I’m getting real value. Never mind the fact that half the box will be stale in 3 days. I’ve got paper and plastic and I’m not afraid to use them.

I slowly made my way over to the cracker zip code. A mountain of crackers towered in front of me. From left to right and floor to ceiling, boxes of crackers were packed in tightly. Each one seemed to call out, “Eat me.” All of these crackers – millions of crackers – and I just needed one little box.

That’s the funny thing about abundance – it’s all a matter of perspective. When I had no crackers, I felt only the longing for sesame-covered low-carbohydrate snack wafers. But how many crackers did I need compared to the limitless supply the SillyMart had to offer?

What is it that you feel you need that life does not have to offer? Is it money? How much money would you have if you could? Likely just a fraction of the wealth that awaits you. Do you want love? Is love available only “while supplies last” and “for a limited time only”? Do you feel that you need more peace than the world has to give? Do you feel a yearning for a 50- pound bag of Skittles? ($4.99 with coupon. Score!)

Many times we live our lives with a scarcity mentality. I don’t have enough money, so there must not be enough money in the world. I don’t feel love, so love must be in short supply. Scarcity leads to hoarding and a “zero-sum” game where someone must lose if someone must win. If she’s going to be my friend, she can’t be her friend, too. Is friendship suddenly a discontinued product line like those creepy Cabbage Patch Kids?

I should point out that there’s no shortage of personal philosophies out there. (Talk about abundance.) Mine is no more or less valuable than the others, but personally I believe that we construct our realities. For reasons far too complicated to explain in a column about crackers, I feel that our interpretation of our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and external environment creates our reality. By extension, this means that purposefully selecting our thoughts and managing our behaviors can influence and construct that reality. (Don’t believe me? Eat a 5- pound box of Triscuits and tell me if your reality isn’t altered in some way.)

If you’ve ever felt dejected by the chasm you feel separating you from your objective, I suggest embracing a mindset of abundance. Close your eyes and visualize your goal. Imagine yourself awash in a river of the stuff. Picture yourself surrounded by happiness, love, wealth, health, saltines – whatever you seek.

Now comes the hard part. You need to use that mental picture of abundance to shape your emotions and your actions. Don’t take the scarcity route by feeling the pain of not having achieved your goal. Not even when you’ve had a crappy day. Instead, place your faith in the abundance that naturally exists within the world.

With a personal mindset that eschews abundance and embraces abundance, the goal appears and becomes that much more attainable. That little change can make a superstore-sized difference.

Friend of the Blog @Sauccygrl looks fuly prepared for her first triathlon tomorrow, complete with KAED celebration shirt!

Way to go, @Saucygrrl!

Man, I did not want to get up this morning. I stayed up a bit later than I had wanted watching the Women’s Beach Volleyball Gold Medal match. (USA! USA!) When the alarm went off at 5:15AM, I squinted through bleary eyes and thought to myself, “You have got to be kidding me.”

Just a few hours prior, I had been looking forward to waking up. After watching Misty and Kerri dominate, I was thinking ahead to a brisk 5-mile before breakfast. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but when I was staring down the barrel of a snooze button it seemed like a bigger challenge than a 6′ 3″ Chinese shot blocker.

A bit of backstory seems in order. I’m not a great runner. I don’t enjoy running so much as I enjoy having ran. Even so, one of my life goals is to complete a marathon some day. Last weekend, I completed the 7-mile Falmouth Road Race. I figured I’d build on that momentum by incorporating some longer runs into my weekly routine.

Therein lies the rub down. In the future, I want to complete a 26.2-mile run. Up to now, I’ve been running 3 miles or so a few days a week. I’m no Steve Prefontaine, but even I know that won’t be enough to reach my goal.

That realization forced me to drag my ample, sorry butt out of bed. If I’m going to become a Marathon Man, I’m going to have to do the distance. Needing one last bit of motivation, I thought to myself, “What would Kerri Walsh do?” (Other than be, like, totally awesome.) I pulled on my bikini top and bottom, laced up my shoes, and stumbled toward the door.

I’m happy to report that once my legs got moving, my heart got pumping, and I thoroughly enjoyed the morning run.

This experience taught me two important lessons:

1. If the goal looms large enough, the small sacrifices along the way seem small by comparison.
2. USA! USA!

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“To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the Gift.”

- Steve Prefontaine

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KAED

In a conversation today, an associate shared his philosophy on what it takes for teams to succed in business. The acronym he used to remind himself of key ingredients was easy enough to remember:

FAA

No, he wasn’t talking about the government agency in charge of airplanes. He was referring to a need for “Focus, Alignment, and Accountability”. He made a compelling argument that any employee needs these things to be successful in his or her job.

The more I pondered the FAA, I wondered how a government agency can allow airlines to regularly lose my luggage. The more I pondered the other FAA, the more I realized that these are essential elements for anyone who wants to achieve success in life.

Lift your tray table, fasten your seatbelt, and check this out:

• Focus. You can’t do it all. You’re allowed to have a hundred things you’d like to accomplish in life, but to make meaningful progress, you’ll need to prioritize a few first. Once you select the most worthy goal for action in the here and now, you need to keep that goal at the forefront until it’s complete.
• Alignment. Make sure your goals line up with your personal values. If you’ve taken on a goal that is out of kilter, you’ll struggle to find the long-term energy and commitment you’ll need to achieve it. Better to spend time up front making sure you know what you’re all about (this just in – you rock!) and that your goals flow naturally from your interests.
• Accountability. Nobody can make you successful but you. It’s too easy to hide or to convince others that you’re doing the things you need to do to win. You need to hold yourself accountable and make sure that you have a plan and are that you’re making good progress toward it every day.

That simple acronym may not capture all of the things you need to succeed (I’d add support, flexibility, and the chance to celebrate milestones along the way) but it’s still a handy guide that hits some pretty key points.

So the thought of the day is to remember FAA and to get ready to soar to new heights.

Now, that’ll be $5 for those peanuts. Correct change, please.

 

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”
- Thomas Jefferson

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Leave it to T.J. to pull double duty. I think this quote nicely demonstrates what lies behind both the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. How many times have you seen someone who you thought could be tremendously successful if only he or she had a better attitude? Since the beginning of time, it seems, the sages have quipped on the importance of having a proper mindset for success. Tommy goes a bit further, though, and points out the distrastrous consequences that await those who are prone to negativity.

An entire branch of psychology has now begun to examine the benefits experienced by those who “accentuate the positive”. The founder of Positive Psychology, Dr. Martin Seligman, recently served as the President of the American Psychological Association. While behavioral scientists get their nerd on, it’s comforting to know that another American President observed this uncommon sense more than 200 years earlier.

If you’re heading to the Coaching and Positive Psychology Initiative at Harvard University on September 26 & 27, you’ll certainly learn much more on this fascinating subject. Look me up when you get there – I’ll be the guy in the front row taking copious notes and whispering “This is awesome!”.